Break

There is a light in you
I see it
I see its desire to shine
I see it, struggling
In time, glory will be revealed
It will be so brilliant
So blinding
The time is coming
When the shell will no longer be able to cage your light
On that day
Shine
Shine so bright
Blind me with your brilliance

Hello, my old friend. Time is a merciless thief. I need someone to listen and so I am at your door...Today has been kind of a shitty day. The weather is getting to me. I can't stand the humidity and heat much longer. It is suffocating. I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't escape. I have this beast on my back that I cannot seem to get a hold on. Its weight is crushingly so. My legs are shaking and my knees starting to buckle. Just a few more days and I will be rid of this cumbersome weight, if it doesn't crush me. I need rest, but can't seem to find it. I slumber, but rest evades me. My heavy heart and weary bones need a place to lay down. Restore me. I feel neglected. Brushed aside. Lonely. Left behind. Forgotten. Hurt. I don't know if I can perform this dance...

E.E. Cummings

To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.

to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with
-mark twain

i actually think i like it

i think that this song is actually
maturing into something.....
that i like

don't be long my love
please
don't be long
don't be long my love
please
don't be long

i don't believe in soulmates
it's just another word
not much to believe in
in this fucked up world

so don't be long my love
please
don't be long
don't be long my love
please
don't be long

my faith is almost gone
and i'm fading
don't know how much longer
i can hold on

so don't be long my love
please
don't be long
don't be long my love
please
don't be long

i don't mean to question
your existence
but i have to admit
that these doubts are persistent

how did i get here
so far
so dark
my memory is not clear

my shadow led me down this way
how far i couldn't say
all i know is that i don't
i don't want to stay

now i ask for grace
let it flow
let it go
land right on my face

i'm asking for grace
let it flow
let it rain
all down upon my face

send it all
drink it all
fill up this place
don't let any go to waste

cause i'm running
i'm lost
i'm scared
and i can't seem to find
the air

sometimes...
i feel so lonely
that it's painful to breathe,
i am so heavy
that it is difficult to move

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco

what to do

i should blame myself
more than i blame you
for actually believing
that it would come true

so what to do
these unfulfilled wandering dreams
do i continue to burden them
or lay them at your feet?

beyond faith

i am tortured and damned
by the very
dreams
visions
hopes
that i thought
made me
who i am

created for the sly smile
not to be realized
tasted
smelled
or escaped
yet
haunting all the while

i am on the verge. . .

i am on the verge. . .
of either
a complete and disastrous breakdown
or
an incredible and amazing breakthru

fasting

lord, can you hear
me call out your name
lord, can you hear
me ask for healing

lord, are you there
cause i swear
sometimes when i reach for you
all i feel is air

empty

well i looked my demons in the eyes,
laid bare my chest, said do your best, destroy me.
you see, i've been to hell and back so many times,
i must admit you kind of bore me.
there's a lot of things that can kill a man,
there's a lot of ways to die,
listen, some already did that walked beside me.
there's alot of things i don't understand,
why so many people lie.
its the hurt i hide inside that fuels the fire inside me.
will i always feel this way?
so empty, so estranged
 -ray lamontagne

My heart is heavy today. . .

Enough of the Night

You've had enough of the night
To fill the street with tears
You've had enough of those empty hours
To last a thousand years
-Jackson Brown

Good News

i got 105 out of 100 on my stats test. sweet!

Enough Already

Ok, ok, I think I've had enough bad news in the past months. Can I please have some good news now?

all i can say

Lord I'm tired, so tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark is creeping in, creeping up to swallow me
I think I'll stop and rest here a while

And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember where you sat it down

And this is all that I can say right now, I know it's not much
And this is all that I can give, that's my everything.

-david crowder

Ani is coming

Ani DiFranco is playing at the Fillmore on April the 8th. O how I wish I had money.

Losing Hope

i am lost
in this abyss
of darkness

the more i struggle
the more i try to fight
the further
the dimmer
seems the hope of light