I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco

what to do

i should blame myself
more than i blame you
for actually believing
that it would come true

so what to do
these unfulfilled wandering dreams
do i continue to burden them
or lay them at your feet?

beyond faith

i am tortured and damned
by the very
dreams
visions
hopes
that i thought
made me
who i am

created for the sly smile
not to be realized
tasted
smelled
or escaped
yet
haunting all the while

i am on the verge. . .

i am on the verge. . .
of either
a complete and disastrous breakdown
or
an incredible and amazing breakthru

fasting

lord, can you hear
me call out your name
lord, can you hear
me ask for healing

lord, are you there
cause i swear
sometimes when i reach for you
all i feel is air

empty

well i looked my demons in the eyes,
laid bare my chest, said do your best, destroy me.
you see, i've been to hell and back so many times,
i must admit you kind of bore me.
there's a lot of things that can kill a man,
there's a lot of ways to die,
listen, some already did that walked beside me.
there's alot of things i don't understand,
why so many people lie.
its the hurt i hide inside that fuels the fire inside me.
will i always feel this way?
so empty, so estranged
 -ray lamontagne

My heart is heavy today. . .

Enough of the Night

You've had enough of the night
To fill the street with tears
You've had enough of those empty hours
To last a thousand years
-Jackson Brown

Good News

i got 105 out of 100 on my stats test. sweet!

Enough Already

Ok, ok, I think I've had enough bad news in the past months. Can I please have some good news now?

all i can say

Lord I'm tired, so tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark is creeping in, creeping up to swallow me
I think I'll stop and rest here a while

And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember where you sat it down

And this is all that I can say right now, I know it's not much
And this is all that I can give, that's my everything.

-david crowder

Ani is coming

Ani DiFranco is playing at the Fillmore on April the 8th. O how I wish I had money.

Losing Hope

i am lost
in this abyss
of darkness

the more i struggle
the more i try to fight
the further
the dimmer
seems the hope of light

I misplaced my lenses

In my search for understanding, I have come to realize that I am a spoiled child. Yet, despite all my complaining and pouting and whining and crying, my Father still paints a new sunset everyday for my eyes to behold. . .I am humbled

February 5, 2008

Aaron Klein
15725 Oakridge Ct
Morgan Hill, CA 95037

Dear Mr. Klein:

The Committee on Admissions has completed the review of your application for entrance to the first year class that will begin its studies at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in August, 2008.

Due to the growing number of highly qualified candidates, we regret to inform you that we are unable to further consider your application for admission.

We thank you for having considered Einstein as a school at which you might like to complete your medical studies. We wish you success in your future endeavors and with the achievement of your career and personal goals.

Very Truly Yours,

Noreen Kerrigan, M.P.A.
Assistant Dean for Student Admissions

Sometimes the limits of my skin get me down. I want to break free of the boundaries that it places on me...that I place on me....

Importance of perspective

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
- GK Chesterton

Car Crash

Just push me 'til I have to fly
I've shed my skin, my scars
Take me deep out past the lights
Where nothing dims these stars
Nothing dims these stars
-matt nathanson

i got rejection notices from creighton medical school and uc irvine medical school.

Cheers!!

Here's to checking under your house to make sure the rain water isn't draining under it and finding a lake...to staring in disbelief, freaking out, trying to figure out what to do, and frantically looking for a bucket to bail out the water from underneath your house...to realizing the bucket thing isn't working and grabbing a hose in order to siphon water and mud out from under your house, which comes with mouth-fulls of mud...standing in 6-8 inches of mud while trying to bail out standing water...worrying that your house may slide down the hill...digging trenches in the pouring rain, in order to divert the water away from your house...trying to salvage all your stuff that is in the middle of that lake...here's to never doing any of this again! Cheers!

i am aaron's itchy beard

i am aaron's itchy beard
overgrown and unkept
flourishing in times of distress
hiding his sunken,
sorrow-filled face
taking over his life
that is a mess

i am soon to be gone
he says he wants a fresh start
apparently he has laid to rest
and asked for healing
for the wounds
that reside in his heart