faceless ghost

On my way to Rocklin yesterday to see my good friend Andy, I was struck by something, and I had to pull off the freeway to write it down. I share it with you now,

I am emotionally unstable.
I am not willing or even possibly able
To take this step you are asking me to take,
To bear this cross,
To break where you are asking me to break.
How can I help those
Love those
Forgive those
Who need it
Who require it
Who deserve it,
When i cannot
Love myself
Help myself
Or forgive myself
When I need it?

I am just trying to love this man that I am,
To make him the best that he can
Be,
Loving the most,
Hearing the most,
Helping the most,
Understanding the most,
Forgiving the most,
Healing the most,
All the while on this crazy journey
To bring glory and honor to the Heavenly host.
So when I am laid to rest,
Remember me only as a faceless ghost.