culture shock or culture sick

i don't know how to explain it, really, but there is this undercurrent in america. when i was in romania, or when i was in ghana, i didn't feel it. there was always time, and i wasn't always tired and uneasy. and i hardly slept while i was away. in fact, i didn't have a good night sleep the whole time i was in ghana, i never slept more than 3 or 4 hours at a time. it seems like other countries don't have this "weight". and i felt it as soon as i touched ground in america, and i could feel its release as soon as we left. i hate it, because i don't sleep, my mind is constantly going, and i feel stressed and uneasy and strapped for time. i long for the simplicity of ignorance. i wish i didn't know any better. or actually, while we are wishing for things, i wish america didn't have this undercurrent. because it affects me in the deepest of places. my relationship with my heavenly father suffers, as does my relationship with myself, and my relationships with others. or maybe it's just me, or that is god's way of telling me that i don't belong here. he is calling me elsewhere.