Cheers!!

Here's to checking under your house to make sure the rain water isn't draining under it and finding a lake...to staring in disbelief, freaking out, trying to figure out what to do, and frantically looking for a bucket to bail out the water from underneath your house...to realizing the bucket thing isn't working and grabbing a hose in order to siphon water and mud out from under your house, which comes with mouth-fulls of mud...standing in 6-8 inches of mud while trying to bail out standing water...worrying that your house may slide down the hill...digging trenches in the pouring rain, in order to divert the water away from your house...trying to salvage all your stuff that is in the middle of that lake...here's to never doing any of this again! Cheers!

i am aaron's itchy beard

i am aaron's itchy beard
overgrown and unkept
flourishing in times of distress
hiding his sunken,
sorrow-filled face
taking over his life
that is a mess

i am soon to be gone
he says he wants a fresh start
apparently he has laid to rest
and asked for healing
for the wounds
that reside in his heart

saved

and if this ground gives way
i just hope that you'll catch me
-spill canvas

i just want to crawl into a f---ing cave...
can i catch a break?
can i shake
this shadow that hovers
i just want to crawl into a f'in cave
and pull over my head, the covers.

more news

i got denied from albany medical college. i guess i shouldn't feel too bad though, of the 9,000 who applied, 8,870 will be denied. oh, and the classes i need to take at de anza college to get into a master's of nursing program are full. and the hits just keep on coming.

i mourn
for the man
that i could be
and, i mourn
for the man
that i am.
memories and broken promises
shattered across
that hurt so bad.
i mourn for the
story never told
the journey never to unfold

i don't want to hurt anymore

i am done...

i have nothing positive to say...

fuck this place...

i don't want to play anymore...

i've

i've died another time
i've already sung
i've already fucked this up
i've lost my mind

ani

fuck this time and place
-ani difranco

rocky

i saw rocky votolato on sunday night at bottom of the hill in san francisco. wow, it was a fabulous show. the other two bands were phenomenal as well, slender means and jesse sykes and the sweet hereafter. i love live music

Must See

if you haven't already, you have to watch the walmart movie:the high cost of low prices. it's on youtube in 11 parts.

more disappointment

i got denied from rosalind franklin and medical college of wisconsin

I am stuck in this dark
The more I try to move
The more it seems I lose
My way

UC Davis

I was just denied by uc davis. it seems harder and harder as of late to find the motivation just to get out of bed. i guess heartache is the price you pay when you believe in your dreams....

This is my reality

Rejection from George Washington University found its way into my mailbox and into my consciousness

Wedding dress song

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don’t trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
And with the other in your side

Cause I am so easily satisfied
By the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

-Derek Webb

guess i was wrong

i always thought the point of education was to give the teacher the answer they wanted. who knew it was actually supposed to be about learning. "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."
- Malcolm Forbes

why

why is it that healing is always so painful and difficult?

I do

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.
- Gallagher

all i want to do is believe