have heart, my dear

i don't even know what to write. i am so...so...numb, i guess is a good word. ok, maybe not good, but appropriate. i am so numb. numb to life. the days all run together. routine. i am, that's right, you guessed it, frustrated. i am friggin frustrated. but i can't give up the pursuit. i can't stop walking. baby steps. baby steps. keep moving. it is a journey. tell that to yourself. but what is the point? i don't get it. is there anything to get? maybe this is as good as it gets. words are inadequate to explain.....