Dinner out

so i finally asked her out. she is so beautiful. it is beyond words. every time i see her... anyways, i think it went ok. i couldn't tell if she was enjoying herself or not. although with her i think she would have said something if she wasn't. it was awkward at times, but then it's supposed to be, right? then we went to see a band play. they rocked. i wish i was in a band, it just looks like so much fun. a real kick in the pants. well, that was all i wanted to say. actually, all i really wanted to say, was that i went out with her, even if it wasn't a "date," if it was just two friends having dinner together and nothing more, then that is fine too. which i think it was. i couldn't really tell what it was, or what she was thinking. i just hope she enjoyed my company. although i don't know why she would be interested in an unattractive, non-talented, weirdo who doesn't really have a future, with no job and still lives with his parents? it is beyond me. but seriously, i feel unattractive every day. couldn't i have like a day where i think that i am good looking, even if it is only semi good looking. i would like to look at myself in the mirror and think that i am attractive today. i guess it all starts in the brain. i have to think that i do, and then i will? or, just not care what the $#%& i look like.