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people say that i wouldn't be here if i wasn't meant to be. i wouldn't be doing this if i wasn't meant to. i wouldn't have married this person if it wasn't what god wanted. but what about marriages that don't work? what about people who get divorced? what about people who hate their jobs? what about all the bad things that happen? god wants all those bad things to happen? what about those people that never get married? does god really want them to be alone? i don't think so. god said that it wasn't good for the man to be alone. well, some people are. what about that? so how can i believe that everything will work out? will it really work out for the best? or is that just something that we tell ourselves? are we lieing to ourselves? am i deceiving myself? what if i'm not suppose to be where i am? what if i made a wrong turn, thinking that god was leading, but i just got confused and now i am here, not anywhere near where i was suppose to end up...how could i be where i am suppose to be? does such a place even exist? i am meant to be...blah, blah, blah...i am not meant for anything. i am where i am, and that's that. don't read too much into it. there isn't anything there to read into. i think that we deceive ourselves into thinking that there is something to read into because that makes us feel secure. like we are where we are suppose to be. we aren't way off course or whatever. we lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better about where we are. i mean is there even a thing as a soul mate? is someone else really meant for me? or do two people just do the best they can. i just find a girl that i get along with, am attracted to, have things in common with and then we just work at it. there isn't any thing special, we just decide to make it work. i wasn't meant for her and she wasn't meant for me, we just choose to love one another and there isn't any more to it than that. i should stop looking for the right person, because she doesn't exist. i just have to find a girl that i get along with, am attracted to, and share common interests and beliefs. that's all. or am i lieing to myself now?