things that i thought would never come to pass

i saw giselle today. do you believe it? i don't. there she was all beautiful. i have to write this down now because after this i don't want to think about her anymore...for reasons that i have, anyway. it is friday, and i don't work on friday's. i am suppose to be studying, but i didn't want to study and they say that you should live life like an adventure, so i thought i would go and try to see giselle at work. she works at michael's in the frame department. anyway, so i left around 11 i think, and it took me about 40 minutes to get up there. and i went in the store to see if she was there. there wasn't any one in the frame department, so i asked a lady that worked there if giselle was working, and she said that she wouldn't be in until 4, so then i contemplated if i should just go home, or if i should go to the palmer's. i thought that i am in the neighborhood, so i should at least go say hi to the palmer's. so i went to their house and debbie was home, so i went in and had lunch with debbie, and then curt came home for lunch and i got to talk to curt. then i watched the french open, and then chris came home and he had lunch. he made me a second sandwich. and we watched the french open. nadal beat federer. then we watched dr. phil. this one lady lost 400 pounds. yeah, 400 pounds. then gina came over and we watched dancing with the stars. it's where celebrities pair up with a professional dancer and they do dances. it was pretty funny to watch. then after that i went back to michael's because it was about 5, so i thought that giselle should be in. by the way, it was so hard to go into that store. i couldn't believe that i was doing it. it was like it wasn't even me. it was like i was watching myself. like a movie almost. anyway, i went in, back to the frame department, but no one was there. so i almost left, but then i heard her voice, so i walked around a bit and found her in the one of the aisles. she looked amazing. she didn't recognize me, but that's ok, i guess. it's been a years since the last time i saw her. anyway, we talked for like an hour or so about whatever, anything and everything. it was so good to see her. she lives in castro valley with her mom, and she works at michael's. she still paints and does the artist thing. and then i came home and had dinner with ron over at sonoma chicken. which was pretty good. anyway, kristen and craig and the boys showed up, with another guy mike. anyways, i don't know why, but i mentioned it to ron, but not to kristen or craig. i don't know why i didn't say anything. i guess it just felt like it wasn't an appropriate time. i honestly don't know. it was weird. i feel like i should have told them. it was the a good opportunity. kristen and craig were both there. i don't know. i can't explain it. but i wanted to say that i went to see her and i saw her and i talked to her and now i don't want to think about her anymore. i just want to wait and see where it goes, if anywhere. even though as i sit here and type, she is all i can think about. when will i see her again? if i could it would be tomorrow. but i don't want all of this crap. i don't want to think about her. it's not good for me. be gone from my thoughts.
almost like my dreams
you were meant for me
almost like my dreams
my heart can hardly beat
almost like my dreams

here i stand
upon this mountaintop
naked to the world
i bare my sin
my dirty, ugly, filthy naked soul
i have been beaten
i have been laughed at
scoffed, scorned, humiliated
hurt, bruised, crushed
but i am not defeated
i am not dead
i have been restored
i have been redeemed
washed clean of my dirt and ugliness and filth
my sin forgiven
but here i stand naked
i stand with my soul bared
honest, real, true
so laugh, scoff, scorn
for i know who i am
my identity does not depend on you
my identity does not depend on me
my identity comes from he who created me
i am love
i am forgiven
i am his child